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Popular podcast host Chris Griffin recently published a now-viral episode speaking on his partner’s working arrangement, sparking outrage.
Australian podcaster and host of The Pocket, Griffin, recently spoke about his desire to have a partner who doesn’t work “unless she wants to work.” The clip – which has now garnered more than 1.4 million views – sparked outrage and backlash across various social media forums.
“I don’t want my partner working unless she wants to work,” said Griffin.
“If you feel the need to go and work to make money and then you come home and you’re complaining about your day when we don’t need you to make money, because we’re sorted… I want your eyes to light up with excitement.
“It’s the calm, it’s the harmony, it’s the peace and love that a man that’s got a busy life that’s chasing his dreams needs when he’s trying to wind down.
“I don’t think a girl needs to go through challenges, pain and hardship to be an amazing girl.”
According to Rebecca Houghton, middle management expert and founder of BoldHR, the comments are “maddeningly backward.”
“It feels maddeningly backward to even be having this conversation in 2025 – but here we are. The idea that women’s work is optional – as long as it doesn’t disrupt a man’s peace – isn’t just outdated, it’s dangerous. It undermines decades of progress and sends a message that women’s ambition is a threat to be managed, not a value to be celebrated,” said Houghton.
“Work isn’t just a pay cheque for most women. It’s purpose. It’s identity. It’s where they lead teams, solve problems, and drive outcomes. Reducing it to a hobby we’re allowed to opt into – and out of – so long as we’re still smiling when we get home? That’s called control.”
Houghton said that social media discourse focusing on the reinforcement of these traditional gender norms can seep into the workplace.
“What we don’t want is for this messaging to seep into performance reviews, leadership decisions, and who gets stretched versus who gets supported. When women are expected to be endlessly available, emotionally agreeable, and low-maintenance at home, those same expectations can quietly follow them into the workplace,” she said.
“If a man needs ‘calm, peace, and harmony’ after a hard day, I’d suggest he offer the same in return. Because let’s be honest: what he’s describing isn’t a partner, it’s something between a mother and a servant – and that’s not the kind of wife most women want to be.
“She has just as much right to choose a role where she’s stimulated, socialised, recognised – and yes, paid – rather than sitting at home, waiting to please just one person, and for free.”
Diversity expert and community leader, Moira Were AM, didn’t mince words when speaking on the viral clip, saying that it is a part of a broader cultural shift that is taking place.
"It’s tempting to write off this sort of commentary as yet another male podcast host pushing tired gender roles – but this is bigger than one clip. It’s part of a broader cultural shift: a repackaging of old-fashioned control as modern-day chivalry,” she said.
“And that, I believe, is more insidious. Because this content doesn’t sound like hate – it sounds like care. It comes wrapped in soft lighting and self-help speak. And yet, it still asks women to step back, stay small, and serve.
"This version of misogyny sits behind a podcast mic and says “I just want you to be happy.” But beneath the surface, it’s the same story. In Griffin’s framing, a man’s busy day earns him the right to come home to ‘calm, peace and harmony’. A woman’s role isn’t about contributing financially or pursuing her own ambitions, whatever they are – it’s about creating an atmosphere for him. He wants her eyes to “light up with excitement” when she talks – so long as she doesn’t bring stress, ambition, or, heaven forbid, complexity.”
According to Were, calling out this behaviour is a bare minimum action and she pointed towards how quickly misogyny can spread given the power of social media algorithms.
"It’s not enough to just call out overt misogyny anymore. We’ve got to be vigilant for the more subtle, Instagrammable versions too. The ones that centre the man, even as they claim to elevate the woman,” she said.
"And we need to get honest about where young men are learning these beliefs. Because right now, many are being trained by algorithms, not ethics. We must teach and encourage digital literacy alongside emotional and relationship literacy.
“We must create space for real conversations at work and at home – with our sons, brothers, partners – about kindness, equity and what true partnership looks like. We need education that fosters critical thinking, self-regulation, and accountability. Because as I’ve said before: algorithms don’t have ethics – we do.”
Kace O'Neill
Kace O'Neill is a Graduate Journalist for HR Leader. Kace studied Media Communications and Maori studies at the University of Otago, he has a passion for sports and storytelling.
